You cannot calmly discuss your differences with someone who has a shiv in his shoe.
You either have to get yourself a shiv or you have to walk away.
The pitiful thing about people who’ve read the self-help manuals about how to manage conflict and fight fair is that they don’t realize that their opponents haven’t studied up on sharing feelings and appreciating another’s point of view. They’ve been doing pull-ups at the gym while the anger management devotees have been doing deep breathing and learning how to put their anger into “I” sentences.
And here is the fork in the road about handling conflict. With whom are you dealing? If you are dealing with someone whom you know will fight fair, then rational discussion is the right strategy. But if you suspect that your ‘opponent’ if you will (or more mildly put, the person with whom you have a difference of opinion) is committed to…
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